A few weeks ago, I came upon the most unbelievable dating profile on Chemistry (an offshoot of Match). As one of the first people to join the match site a few years ago, they made me a paid lifetime member. Every now and then I poke my head in. I couldn’t believe they paired me up with this 61 year old guy from New York—just check out his introductory paragraph:
“Just did 30 years getting off for good behavior. Looking to find a lady who’s not insane. Don’t need anybody new to dig into my pockets. Take me for who I am not what I can buy you. You can ask me for almost anything and you’d be likely to get it, but demand it or give me an ultimatum and I shut down hard, fast and tight. Had my back against the wall for 30 years, it’s given me a lot of spine that until now I have chosen because of the kids not to flex. Now is my time, not looking to please anyone unless it pleases me.”
It was be so funny if it were not so tragic. His baggage comes with a person.
Now, I can relate to being a victim, and wanting to make sure you do not repeat old scenarios. It is the hardest thing in the world to stop a bleeding heart and band-aid the wounds from putting yourself out there. I swear I have to have a bull’s eye painted on the top of my head! Most of us have already have wounds from childhood tramas. Dating as teenagers and until we’re married usually adds many more. Then, dating the second, or third, or 20ish time around after a divorce or long term relationship always freshens the boo-boo’s. If we’ve managed to work through them, and somehow leave them in the past, they don’t open up again, and just scar over.
Question is: how can we open ourselves up to love, be vulnerable without the risk of being wounded again? Do the scars ever really heal?
MissSensuale
