The Shelf Life of Sex Toy Goodies

I had a few days to myself last week, went shopping and bought some new cosmetics. I couldn’t wait to get them home, take them out of the package (especially my new red lipstick)…being the grand multi-tasker, said to myself “Hmmm…this is probably a good time to throw out some of that other stuff I don’t really like or use….”

Well, I started digging into my makeup drawer and couldn’t believe how much stuff I had…and just how much junk was in there! Half used tubes of mascara, encrusted eye shadow, samplers so old, now dried up. And as I was digging and throwing away, I remember hearing once that mascaras and other liquids/cosmetics should be thrown away a few months after being opened. Exposure to air, contamination with anything can lead to bacterial growth etc….

Now….you’re probably wondering how this could lead to erotic meanderings, well…someone wrote to me recently and wondered if there was a shelf life to the ID Lubricant she bought at one of our sex toy parties. Hmmm…you know, it’s gotta be the same thing here with lubes and other sexy lotions. I noticed the ID Lube in my night stand actually got a little thicker in consistency.

Soooooo, one thing leads to another, and just like my cosmetics, I thought it was way past time to overhaul my nightstand goodie drawer. Wow! I couldn’t believe just how old some of the stuff was in there—-half used foil samplers (some ‘stuck’ to the sides of the drawer–yuck!), almost empty lube tubes, chocolate body something or other, vibrator parts (I swear some were still moving, and what was I thinking when I bought that huge thing home???), and lots of dead batteries.

So, I made a clean sweep and made room for even MORE goodies, and most importantly—-FRESH lube. Ahh. I’m ready now. New ruby red lipstick, killer mascara, my fresh viagra, er, I mean Orgasmix, and an even fresher tube of slippery ID Lube. I now feel ready to attract love; )

Ooooh, Baby. I hope my lover is reading this.

Madame X

P.S. In case you get motivated and clean out your night stand, I really do recommend ID Personal Lubricant—it is the only one I will carry in my sex toy party line. Check out

Rina Valan, Basic Author