I know I can’t be alone in this jungle out there called Internet Dating…
it can be such a wonderful thing to be able to ‘eyeball’ people without an eyeball looking back, and not worrying about hurting their feelings. And you can literally ‘eyeball’ someone across town or across the country. Such a good thing, right?
Err…sometimes.
More often than not, the ‘meet and greet’ is disappointing to at least one of the parties. You’d be surprised to see how some stretch the truth on certain things, like my “Mr Age 61 on his E-Harmony profile turns out to be Mr Age 71 after I drove 2.5 hours to meet him for lunch (“Oh, sweetie…I was afraid you wouldn’t meet me!” “Damn right, you piece of blankin’ ^$%#!!”). Or the one that after a couple minutes said “Oh, you have a slight overbite…my father said women with overbites give the best oral sex”. He was a real charmer.
And once in a blue moon, I am certain that two meet and a significant relationship develops. But why, oh why, is it soooo hard this time around?
I know…candy stores.
Remember them as kids? You’d walk in and literally go ballistic with a quarter in your hand, “Oh yes, I’ll take some Red Hots, Wax Lips, Nibbs, Flying Saucers, Chocolate Twizzlers, a handful of JuJu Beads, and 6 Swedish Fish. And then you went back next Sunday after Mass, and started all over again.
Choices, oh choices…sometimes too many choices. There may be some really quality delicacies out there that you might overlook because your eyeball can’t focus for more than a second or two. I have found that many of those delicacies are wrapped in rather unflashy wrappers and are often left wondering “What is wrong with me?”. And after a while, sugar all starts tasting the same, and you know that the more you eat it, the more you want.
Sigh.
I used to like the Merry-Go-Round. Is there really a brass ring?
Tell me what you think. What about you? Are you on the ride?
MissSensuale
P.S. Visit my sex toy parties company website www.fantasiahomeparties.com
You won’t find a date there, and sometimes that is a good thing ; )
Dear Miss Sensuale,
I can relate only because I spent the better part of my life staring at the “candy in the candy store”. Probably being one of those pieces in the not so flashy wrapper.
Then one day someone pegged me with a Jawbreaker and we have been happy ever since. I would hate to be back in the game again, I think if anything ever happened to the jawbreaker I would resign from the game altogether.
Don’t worry though, at some point, when you least expect it, someone will peg you with an apple, (no candy no calories), and it will be better than you thought.
Keep it coming, your blogs are always great!
I go by Hipdesk in the 91306 area code on Yahoo personals. I say that so you or your readers can check me out. I’m a pretty smart guy with hair (on my head) and without the gut. I think I’m a catch. But that depends on what she is looking for. Do you women know what you are looking for? My search goes on…
#1 I don’t think a profile really tells who a person is.
There is so much I would forgo as an allowance to find a connection. The term “connection” doesn’t only mean great sex.
A partner that ignites the chemistry between us.
A partner that makes me a better man when I am with her. She completes me.
A partner who I make happy.
A partner who allows the man in me emerge rather than spend her time castrating me.
As an example if I choose in a profile that I do not want a smoker. But there is a really great catch for me; however, she smokes, I would kiss her wonderful smoking lips anyway.
I am a white guy so I choose Caucasian. But what if there is a Phillipino woman who would totally complete me… AUGH!!! I’m going to love her.
I choose voluptuous on the profile of what I want. I have had women start off by apologizing for their athletic bodies. There is something wrong with that!
There is so much more to know about a person.
#2 I don’t think coffee dates and 20 questions is the answer either.
The 20 questions usually have a theme of “What’s wrong with you” and I leave the date feeling like I am “Broke needing to be fixed!” There is something wrong with that too!
I recall one time I did the 20 questions thing. I swear this lady was better than any attorney I’ve hired. By the 14th question she understood my health insurance policy and by the 17th she had my net worth. She said we were not for each other and would probably never go out again. But that we could be friends. (Yea, right!)
Meeting someone and grilling them is simply not an empowering experience (at least for me).
#3 Don’t boast about how many dates you have been on. It makes me feel small and unimportant.
I had one date who call to say she was going to be late. She requested I ask the bartender (who she knew by now) for a napkin and write clearly on a napkin the number 105. I asked why. She said, “you are the 105th date this year. I like to keep track!”
#4 If I write you, please write back. Even if it is to say “Go Away!” Please write back.
Yahoo has an option that allows you to see if someone was checking you out. I figure if it is on, you may have wanted me to know but just couldn’t find the words or you like that man to make the first move. What ever, please write back.
When I am active on Yahoo Personals, I write every single visitor who stops by. Even if I think that she is worlds away from what I want. 1 in 40 will write me back.
#5 If you decide this is not going to work, please offer a reason. Otherwise I will use my broad and active imagination to figure it out myself. Usually, I blame myself and think there is something wrong with me.
I recently had this happen. She did not write me back either so I have no idea what happened there.
#6 Don’t treat me like a meal ticket. Yes I have had one Internet date who they order the most expensive item in every category and then order take-out for later. She said it was for her mom.
I recently met a woman at a singles function. We were getting along fairly well. She said she wanted references from past girlfriends or dates, which I was glad to give her (I have good references like that). She took me to meet a couple of her girlfriends. She invited them to ask 1 question each to forgo the references. I agreed.
Girlfriend #1/Question #1 – “Will you take care of her?” (I felt like a meal ticket again and I’m willing to admit that I may have a conversation around money, but that’s how I felt. By the way, Of course I would take care of her.
Girlfriend #2 / Question #2 Does you equipment work? Hey! No pressure there! Guys start to loose erections at 40. That’s a fact of life. Women have things that change between 40 and 50 too. Anyway, I felt like a piece of meat. Thank God my equipment does work but I swear it’s not like when I was 20. Jeeeezzz!
I’m going to stop now. I’m starting to sound like a whiner and I don’t want that.
Nice bolg. Thanks for the space.
Hey, great blog. Best one I’ve read all day! Very true.
After meeting some interesting (for lack of a better word…the freak who never met me, but told me he loved me, the other who I dated and dropped when he asked me if his unemployed self could move in with me) suitors on Match.com, I found my hubby…we are now happily (most of the time) married with 3 kids. While I’m happy to be off the round and round of the merry go round (cause it makes you a little dizzy), I miss the excitement of the getting to know yous, 1st kisses, and the newness of a relationship.
Keep the faith that there is a great…um…truck….waiting for you!
I met my wife quite by accident in May 2000 on the Internet. At that time it was very unusual and most people thought “weird” things when we told them we met on-line.
We lived almost 2,000 miles apart and never for one minute thought we would actually meet in person. We just chatted on line for the first month or so, emailed recent pictures to each other, then graduated to phone calls, and we became very close friends.
When we actually met in person (about 2 months after we met on line) there were no surprises – just excitement and anticipation. We both had been 100% honest with everything we had ever told each other because, in part, neither one of us believed we would ever meet.
By that time, we liked each other so much that it felt very natural for us to take our relationship further and further and further. We were married about 18 months after that first accidental meeting on-line.
So if anyone asks me about meeting on the Internet, I tell them it’s terrific, but it will only work if you (1) are always totally honest and upfront about everything – likes and dislikes, passions, experiences, wants, needs, desires, etc and (2) become good friends with the person.
Otherwise you are only going to find shallow relationships that do not stand a chance of lasting.
hmmm.. some free dating sites make money with adsense etc..
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