Flirting on the Internet: Does it Count?

Such a sticky subject when it comes to matters of the heart in love…does flirting on the internet from your ‘other’ mean they are not interested in you any longer, just ‘keeping’ you around while something else better comes along, maybe bored, or is it just really harmless fun?

I have heard from many friends and customers alike who are apparently doing this via discussion boards, personals, match sites, sex sites, etc, even though they are either married or ‘attached’. I have certainly had my share of those very same guys posing as ‘singles’ on the match sites where my profile has been up…geez, life isn’t complicated enough to have a relationship with a single person, never mind a triangle or for some, a polygon???

Now, look…my spirit animal is an otter, and I love to play and to tease and can understand the temptation to do so. It’s one of the reasons why I spend so much time on my hair everyday! I can truly buy the harmless fun thing. But the bleeding heart of me wonders how their ‘other’ would react if they came across some of the remnants of their perceived harmless play. I honestly don’t think I could be ‘big’ enough not to let it bother me, and would really struggle without coming off as the jealous bitch. Maybe it’s a woman thing, as the first thing we wonder is “What’s wrong with me?”, or “Am I not enough?” I wonder if men would feel the same way?

So, let me ask you? Is it any different to flirt with someone across a bar than behind the screen of a computer? Is revealing one’s personal desires, fantasies, even personal body parts not really revealing if it isn’t done in person? Does it matter only if you are married or committed to someone? What if you aren’t, but dating regularly/sharing intimacy?

Sound like I am confused? Yea…bring me back to pre-computer days where these things seemed to be more black and white.


P.S. Consider flirting with a sex toy instead, check out my sex toy party company,

Rina Valan, Expert Author

Rina Valan, Basic Author


  1. If my girlfriend had her profile back up, she is trolling. I”d be out the door.

  2. I think because it’s not in person people can easily think it’s harmless. I don’t agree- flirting is flirting, cheating is cheating. Where is the line that makes it ok? Can they exchange words in a chat room, IM, email? What if it moves to phone calls, or meeting? When does it become inappropriate? What about using a web cam, what if that turns sexual? Most of the time we figure out what we’re doing is bad once we’ve gone WAY past the line.

    Here’s my rule when it comes to the internet and ‘friends’. If you wouldn’t do it with your partner standing right there over your shoulder watching- then don’t do it.