Dirty Talk: Count Me In!

The only time I’ve ever heard people complain about the sounds their lover makes during sex is when they don’t make any at all.
I think the only thing worse is making love in complete darkness! Recently, a close friend revealed privately to me the reason she divorced: her husband was so inhibited and withdrawn, he even orgasmed silently. She never got any ‘feedback’ during sex that gave her a clue if what she was doing was feeling good or ‘on target’. That must be so frustrating!

Sounds during sex isn’t just about words.
Grunts, moans, groans, little sighs, long sighs, and screams kind of go in the ‘non-linguistic’ category. Personally, these are my favorite and they easily fall from my lips, sometimes in rather great volume (Ok, so I like to be loud! )  I really LOVE giving feedback to my lover this way!

The other kind of sounds usually fall into the ‘dirty talk.’ Making full sentences I think is difficult for most. Though I remember a lover who kind of narrated the whole scene while in bed! (And no, he was not a movie producer #*@!) After a while, it started sounding like directions, so that was a rather short lived love affair.

The longer sentences and narrative stuff I think, works better before sex, especially when whispered back and forth, before you even hit the bedroom.  I think most of us use one syllable words like: ‘Yes! No! or Ooh!’ Combine that with body language, and you have some real feedback that excites and is exciting!

Think about some of the things you may want to say to your lover tonight.
Take a chance. Say them in soft whispers, before.



P.S. Read more about the sounds of sex by Cory Silverberg over at About.com:

P.P.S. Want more ideas on adding a little more spice with your lover? Think about having one of our sex toy Home Parties, it’s amazing what you may learn by listening in the company of friends…pure validation!